The Language of Love

Holly came to see us last week.  Her and Matt made dinner and we talked and laughed.  After dinner, we climbed onto the bed like in the good old days and we watched the wedding singer.  I was snuggled in between my eternal companion and my best friend.  They have been with me through everything and this feeling of absolute and all-encompassing love came over me.  Of course, they were both snoring….sound asleep, but I thought about how I love both of them the same, but show it in very different ways.  Holly was a psych major in college and we have had many discussions on the 5 different love languages.  Here they are in brief:

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

My primary love language is gift giving.  I love to give people things and I LOVE to celebrate anything….. birthdays, TV shows, holidays.  Along with that I also love to receive things, and Matt knows it.  Whenever I am having a horrible day, he comes home with a bag of licorice, or a movie, or a coupon for a massage.  On the opposite end of the scale, the love language I struggle with the most if physical touch.  I’m not a fan of hugging, or giving someone a pat on the back, it is not because I don’t love them, I just show it in other ways.  However, Matt’s primary love language IS physical touch.  He LOVES hugging, and cuddling in bed, and giving pecks on the cheek, and running his fingers through your hair, and slapping someone on the back, and picking up our kids and cradling them in his arms.  So when he is having a bad day, a big hug and cuddling makes him feel better.
Holly’s obvious love language is Quality Time.  She loves to hang out or make herself available for any and everyone who needs her.  We love spending time together and laughing and remembering the hundreds and thousands of memories and inside jokes.  It’s great.
I started thinking about my children and how they express love.  Bailee loves physical touch.  She is always giving you a hug or holding your hand.  She loves, loves, loves getting her back scratched and tickled.  Jeremy however needs words of affirmation.  If he sees you are having a bad day he sits down and tells that he loves you and then he lists reasons why.  He also loves to hear how proud we are of him and how he is doing a great job.

I know that love is expressed in a million different ways that change as time moves forward, but the most important thing is that my house is filled with those that I love.

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”
-- Jane Howard

A Believer, A Defender

One year ago today, Matt’s mom passed to the other side.  We have spent the week talking about Cindy and all that she was.  There are so many different ways we described Cindy to our children…. mother, grandmother, daughter of God, seamstress, aebleskiver maker, cosmetologist, wife, camper, theater-goer, comforter, visiting teacher, piano player, hard worker, someone who sacrifices and serves, and the list goes on and on.  Last night we decided who Cindy really was.  She was a Believer and a Defender.

The biggest thing I learned from Cindy was that she believed in her Savior and she defended her beliefs.  She knew who she was, she knew God’s plan, and she followed Him in faith, through good times, bad times, and unbelievably excruciatingly difficult times.  She taught her family what she believed and she taught them to stand up and defend it.

Yesterday Matt and I went to a viewing of a friend.  It certainly brought up emotions and feelings from Cindy’s funeral.  To offset the sadness, we went to a session at the Manti Temple.  It was an amazing evening.  We wanted something to remember Cindy and attending the temple was the perfect thing.  She loved the temple.  We arrive to our session and we are asked to be the witness couple, then as we are sitting up on the stand a new missionary comes walking through the doors with this look of amazement on his face.  Matt and I looked at each other and smiled.  After we progressed to the Celestial, we sat and talked about Cindy.  We talked about how she would have loved to be at the temple and how having a new missionary was a perfect way to honor her memory.  She sent 3 missionaries of her own out into the field.  She sat with them as they entered the Celestial room for the first time.  We talked about our favorite memories of Cindy in the temple.  Before Matt’s mission they would attend the temple 3 or 4 times a week.  She would teach him and bear her testimony to him about Eternal Life and the Plan of Salvation.  The more we talked about Cindy, the more we felt as if she were sitting on the couch with us.

This morning I woke up and looked around my home.  It is filled of little pieces of Cindy all around.  There are pictures she has given us, blankets she had made for us, gifts that would remind us of her.  She was a very giving person, and even though she is has gone on, little parts of her will always be with us.

I am grateful for the knowledge I have of Eternal Life and eternal families.  I know that one day we will see her again.  I know that the Gospel is that of good news.  It makes us happy, gives us direction, lifts us up……… and most importantly…………. keeps us together forever!

 

We miss you Cindy!

32 Years Old

With this new job, my schedule is completely off.  I had to work on my actual birthday, but that didn’t stop us from celebrating.  I got off work at 8 on Saturday.  We picked up the Smiths and headed to the theater to watch THE AVENGERS!!  I have been so excited for this movie.  I am a huge comic book geek.  We met the rest of the family there, and while we were waiting for the movie to start, everyone decided that they should sing happy birthday to me.  My face went immediately red.  Then all of sudden, the rest of the theater joined in and then clapped at the end.  It was fun.  The movie was great.
Monday, Matt took off work so we could have a whole day to celebrate.  We grabbed some Subway sandwiches and had mom drop us off up at Bear Canyon.  It was the perfect day:

We had a little picnic and then we proceeded to ride our bikes down the canyon.

It was a quiet Monday morning until we got on the freeway.  Then there were plenty of cars zooming past.  We looped up around the golf course, got a couple of slurpees, and sat on a blanket in the park talking.  It was a memorable birthday, and I was very glad I got to spend it with my sweetheart.

The Unknown

The Unknown. It is a little ominous and scary. Nobody knows the unknown…..until they do.
The Unknown is something that requires discovery, identification, or clarification.  Lack of belief is a convenient excuse for not undertaking new projects. New tasks can be very frightening, but they are good for us, too. They force us out of our current comfort zones. Sometimes we need to leave our spiritual comfort zone, too. The hard work we do spiritually will benefit us in many ways, just as the hard work we do intellectually and professionally will have lifelong value. We have many examples of people venturing out into the unknown.

I don’t necessarily handle change very well, but when Heavenly Father told me a career change was what was right, that is what we did. 

I have found great comfort in the Scriptures.  I remember Lehi’s dream of the tree of life.  I felt very much like those people in the mists of darkness struggling to find something to hold on to.  Doing something unknown is scary, and hard, but I know that in the end it will be worth it, and I am grateful that while things may be unknown to me, Heavenly Father knows all things, especially what is best for me and my little family.

Upheld By My Righteous Omnipotent Hand

This past weekend was General Conference. I must admit, this past week was pretty rough and stressful. I headed up to Salt Lake in a foul mood, not really wanting to be there. Friday night we had dinner at Chilis. Linsey had a bunch of free meal coupons (thanks sis)!
Saturday morning came around and everyone decided that we wanted to head to Temple Square to listen to the morning session in the Tabernacle and then go check out City Creek. We parked our car and headed out. The kids really liked the reflection pond:

Then we headed into the Tabernacle. The morning session was amazing. As soon as the choir got up to sing I started to cry and I didn’t stop until the session was over. For some reason, this weekend, the music of conference touched me the most. I have sang the hymns over and over again, but listening to them this weekend made me feel like Heavenly Father was personally talking to me. That He will always hold me up if I start to fall as long as I am living righteously. I have felt Heavenly Father’s hand holding me up several times in my life. It was an amazing session. After the morning session we headed over to check out the newly opened City Creek:

There were a ton of shops and waaaay more people. People were waiting in line just to get inside some of the stores. It was craaazzy. Matt got it in his mind that he wanted to visit the SLC bike company to get some new pedals for his bike. So we hoofed it down to 2nd and 2nd. Then we had to run to make it in time for the afternoon session of conference.

The missionaries from the MTC were singing and once again, when we got up to sing Called to Serve it took my breath away. It was amazing. After conference, we headed back to the hotel. The women and children headed down to the pool while the men headed to the Priesthood session.

I had been following a blog by the red headed hostess, and I got it my mind that I wanted some of her scripture journals, so we loaded up the car and headed to the quilted bear where I got both journals that I wanted. I’m very excited about studying with them now. The next morning we loaded up the kids and the car and headed home while Linsey and Ray went to the Sunday morning session with mom and dad. It was an uplifting weekend, and honestly, it was just what I needed, right when I needed it.