The Sandwich Man

(sung to "The Candy man")

Who can take a sunrise
Sprinkle it with bread.
Cover it in cheese with some Miracle whip or two,
The Sandwich Man, The Sandwich Man can.
The Sandwich Man can 'cause he makes it with love
and makes the world taste good.

Who can take a rainbow
Wrap it in a bun
Toast it in the oven and make a he'nly combo.
The Sandwich man, The Sandwich Man can.
The Sandwich man can 'cause he slathers it with love
and makes the bread taste good.

So here is a little background.  Friday morning, oh around 10 I say to myself, "Abby, you are going to be up all night, you need to start inundating yourself with caffeine."  So I went to Conoco, as luck would have it they had a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel, so I swiped that up along with a 32-ounce Coke.  Man, I love Coke.  Anyhoo, the day progresses.  Around Noon, me interior monologue begins again, "You are going to be up all night, get some more caffeine and you will be just fine."  So I went back to good old Conoco and got a refill.  Caffeine count: 64 ounces.  I told Steve I wanted to leave work around 1 so, I went home to load up the car and so some light cleaning before we left for Richfield.  My tummy was rumbling so I looked in the fridge.  Nothing!  I had cleaned out the fridge the day before (because it was garbage day) and my fridge was bare.  I looked in the pantry.  Everything in there required me to use the stove and I haven't touched the thing since I started it on fire a few months ago (Matt does all the cooking).  I poked my nose around some more, but to no avail.  Then I remember that Matt made some pink popcorn.  Score!  As I was eating my nutritious lunch the monologue started up again, "You need some more caffeine, sure you will have to run to the bathroom, but you will be able to stay up, besides, who knows when your turn on the track will be, you might me walking at 2 in the morning, you need the caffeine."  I, of course, agreed with myself and headed up to Chilly's (they have really good ice and it is much closer to my house)  32 more ounces of coke and 3 sugar daddy's (the popcorn just wasn't that fulfilling).  Caffeine count: 96 ounces.  So, I head back home and the kids are over to mom's playing so I figure I should do a little bonding time with them before I leave.  I spend some time over to mom's and then Matt arrives and we hop into the car and head to Richfield.  We stop in Scipio (also because they have the good ice) because Matt says he needs some caffeine.  I figure, might as well have some more: 32 more ounces.  Caffeine count: 128 ounces. 

We arrive at the Relay for Life.  It was awesome.  They had the opening ceremonies and the survivor walk.  

Then everybody decided to get some dinner.  Cory mentions "Hey, how 'bout Subway."  Everyone dismisses the suggestions (but a seed was planted in the back of my brain) and decides to support the Relay and have dinner there.  Inner monologue: "Finally some food.  You have way to much energy and you need to soak up some of that caffeine."  We head over there.  I am not a fan of Dutch oven.  Especially when they smother EVERYTHING in gravy.  So I had a few bites of Matt's so-called "pork" which tasted just like turkey and then helped Sam eat his hot dog.  Shauna arranged the walking hours.  Matt and I were slated to walk the nine and ten hours.  So it rolls around and we hop on the track.  We made a few laps and suddenly I smelled the most delicious smell.  It was like I was walking down Main Street in Disneyland.  I sent Matt to go find out what that smell was.  He came back with a great big bag of cotton candy.   So, by 10:00 at night I had eaten a bacon egg and cheese bagel, lots of pink popcorn, 1 sugar daddy (Max stole the others), a bag of cotton candy, turkey/pork, and 128 ounces of caffeine.  Needless to say, I was jumping off the walls. 

So about 1 o'clock, Sharon pulls out the Uno cards and I see Matt and Brandon with some sandwiches.  I force them to go back and get a sandwich for Sharon and myself.  Now, I have NEVER been a sandwich person.  School lunches for me consisted of crackers and cheese, soup, and maybe a banana.  Never a sandwich.  I hate sandwiches.  I hate bread.  Condiments aren't my bag.  Lunch meat is weird.  The texture, the smell.  Eeeww.  So Matt and Brandon bring us back sandwiches and suddenly music starts filling my head.  Suddenly I hear a voice start singing the Sandwich Man sung to the tune of the Candy man.  Yes, I had taken a bite out of heaven.  I could hear myself praise sandwiches up and down, over and over.  I had, not one, not two, but three sandwiches.  And the entire time I was eating them I was raving about how awesome sandwiches are.  How sandwiches are God's greatest gift to mankind.  Finally around 3:30 I gave up and got some shut eye.

The next morning, I woke up and I wanted to DIE.  Sandwiches are not God's greatest gift to mankind.  Sandwiches are evil.  I felt like I got ran over by a steam roller.  It felt like I had a sandwich wedged in my sternum.  I hate sandwiches.  Sandwiches are from the devil.  I have learned a very important life lesson this weekend.  Sugar and caffeine are very fickle friends.  Don't trust them.  Sure they taste good and they give you a little extra kick, but you will pay for it later.  In summation:  Sandwiches - bad.  Sugar - good, but bad later.  Caffeine - very good, but very bad later.   Family - good.   Cotton Candy - good.  Sugar daddy - good.  Pink popcorn - good.  Relay for Life - Good

My Guidepost

Through-out my entire life there has been one influence that has remained constant and true - steadfast and immovable.  Someone that has always pointed me in the right direction.  Someone who has laughed with me and cried with me; hurt for me; and lifted me up when I was down.  My guidepost.  Someone whom I always gauge myself against.  My mom.  So for mother's day, I decided to make her a symbol of what she means to me.

The first definition of a guidepost is: A post with a sign giving directions for travelers, usually placed at a crossroad.  However, the second definition explains perfectly how I feel about my mom and the impact she has had on my life: Something that serves as a guide or an example; a guideline.  My mother set the standard for me early on by her example and he unwavering love for me.  Because of her, I have been able to weather the storms that have inevitably come in my life.  She taught me about Job and his firm commitment to our Savior and His plan of happiness.  She taught me that I can weather any storm that Satan will throw at me, she helped me overcome my insecurities, and she rallies around and completely supports any decision that I make.  She watches my children so I am able to help support my family.  She teaches them the same principles that she taught me.  She is helping shape and mold them into strong and faithful servants of our Heavenly Father.  I love you mom, thank you so much for all that you have done for me and all that you will continue to do for me.  You're the best.

The Summer of Movies 2008

The summer of Movies, 2008 is officially in full swing.  What is the summer of movies you ask?  Well, the summer of movies is a full frontal assault on any and all movies we feel like watching at any particular moment.  So far, we have conquered:

Iron Man: excellent movie, saw it twice.  Oh man is Robert Downey Jr. Ultra Platinum Hot.

Prince Caspian: It was a little scary for Bailee but the story and special effects were phenomenal.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:  The plot was a little weird but Shia Lebouf is exceptional in his role as Indy's son.

Kung-Fu Panda:  It is heart-warming and great for all ages.  The only problem was Jeremy and Bailee were wandering around saying:  "Skeedoosh."  You'd have to see it to understand.

The Incredible Hulk:  this was one that Matt wanted to go see.  I went to the first one and was less than impressed.  However, Edward Norton rules as Bruce Banner and Liv Tyler is excellent as Betty Ross, ya gotta give it another shot.

Now we didn't just head to the theatre, we dragged the mattresses, blankets and pillows and watched movies on the side of mom's house.

Plus, to add to the night, we got those little kid's meal trays and loaded them up with pink popcorn, M&M's and a drink of our choice.

So far we have watched:

In the Land of Women:  I wanted to see this because I love Adam Brody.  It was a very deep movie, not for younger viewers.

Tootsie:  For those of you who don't appreciate the classics, it's like Mrs. Doubtfire only WAY funnier.  Gotta love Dustin Hoffman.

Gone With The Wind:  A classic, a must-see anytime, anywhere movie.  I know there are a lot of you out there that haven't seen it.  Shame on you.  It's the best.  Yes, it is LONG.  4 hours does take out a huge chunk of your day but "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."  Love it!!!

So that about wraps up the first month of the summer of movies.  I always say, if you are going to do something, do it the very best you can.  Plus it is a great escape from the heat and doldrums of everyday life.  I love the movies, and not in a Mira Farrow, Purple Rose of Cairo, Kind of way.  So if anybody is in town- stop on by and join in the summer of movies 2008.

Ahoy Matey!

Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day. There was NO wind, it stayed around the 70's almost the whole day, the sun was shining and the children were happy. To celebrate such a beautiful day, mom decided to help the kids make wooden boats. (You're the best Mom) She got some fabric and cut out some sails, the kids got to decorate their sails and nail a square piece of wood to another one and that was their "boat." The kids had a blast making their boats. They thought they were so cool. I stopped home for a minute on my lunch break and told them that if they were really good, we would take them up the canyon to sail their boats in the creek. They were absolutely elated. Unfortunately, I forgot that I had to do first aid certification with the Young Women at 5. It only lasted an hour so we grabbed some burgers from Wendy's and headed up the canyon at 6:30. They must have been hungry because both of my tiny children scarfed down their burger before we even got to the mouth of the canyon. As we reached our normal "Pooh Stick" destination we were devastated to see that the fire and subsequent trees falling had wiped out our spot completely. Not to worry me hearties' Matt being a true buccaneer continued up the canyon to the perfect little stream. The entire drive up we sang, "Yo ho, yo ho a pirates life for me." Sounds fun right? Well after about five minutes of the same line over and over it was mostly just annoying. However, they weren't fighting so I closed my mouth and let them sing as loud as they could. Finally we arrived at our destination. The pirates hop out of the land lovers transportation and step aboard the friendly seas.

Jeremy had created tiny pirates and were aboard his pirate ship. As we watched them set sail you could hear Jeremy mumble in his best pirate voice, "Aye Matey, prepare for yer voyage. Keep clear of me mast. All hands on deck." It was great.

Bailee's ship kept sinking and she was very upset, but not to worry, Dad was always there to rescue her marooned sea vessel.

After endless hours out to sea, we docked our ships and headed for home. On the way back down the canyon we all agreed that we had earned a little treat from our favorite gas station: Chilly's. Pirates do work up an appetite sailing the seven seas ya know. As we returned home, Matt and I informed our little sailors that they needed to go clean their sleeping quarters. We were met by adamant protests. Matt and I were quick on our feet though and we starting singing the pirate song from the backyardigans: "Clean, Clean, Clean, my ship must be clean." They got the picture and went downstairs and cleaned their rooms. I think after the last battle they were just glad that they weren't pulling weeds or moving rocks. They went to bed holding their homemade ships with smiles on their faces. It was great.

Hmmmm . . . Very Naughty

Yesterday was a rough day. I got three more orders for t-shirts, it was Michelle's last day (leaving me the only female in the office), and I was really tired. Matt gets off at 4:30 now so we got home at the same time. We go over to Mom's to pick up the kids and discover Jeremy on the couch crying and bleeding. Apparently he thought it would be fun to play with knives . . . never a good idea. Matt takes him home and I hang back to talk to mom. She then proceed to lay out a long list of all the "naughty" things the kids have done that day. She was frazzled. They had gotten into everything they know they shouldn't. They were jumping on the furniture. Basically they were just plain naughty. After returning home, Matt and I hold a little conference before we dish out their punishments. Looking down on two little kids with their heads hung low, it was hard to remain firm, but we agreed on a fairly decent form of torture . . . cleaning. We put those two little mischievous angels to work cleaning the house. Amazingly, they had the whole house cleaned in under an hour, but what else could be done? Hmm. How about some of my childhood torture? Or, some of Matt's childhood torture? Yup, that's the ticket.

And finally, here is the end result from all their labors.

Now don't get the wrong idea about us. We weren't standing over them saying, "Mwah hah hah, work till you die." We just decided to take a page out of our parent's books. So if you've got an issue with our forms of punishment, point the finger at the parents. Actually I looked it up (not really) and house and yard work is the most effective form of torture. So I guess we will see if they decide to be naughty today, because I have a whole backyard of weeds with their names on it and I ain't afraid to watch them do it.

The Tale of the Forgetfuls

Once upon a time there was family called the forgetfuls. The forgetfuls were a small family: Father, Mother, Brother, and Sister. One day, the forgetfuls decided to go visit Father's Family the Plentifuls. The Plentifuls were a larger family: Father, Mother, Brother, Brother, Brother, and Brother. The Plentifuls lived in the land of Plenty. Plenty of Sun. Plenty of Heat. Plenty of Shopping. Plenty of Burgers. Plenty of National Parks. So the Forgetfuls loaded up their SUV and headed down south to the land of plenty. Brother and Sister were so exited to see their cousin's "the brothers." It was an uneventful trip down to the land of Plenty. Upon arrival, Father began to unload the car and realized that he had forgotten to load up his and mother's bag. Oh well, no one was around to transport said bag down to the land of plenty, so Mother set out to scrounge up some suitable clothes. While she was out, she forgot that her kids might be hungry, so her and Mother Plentiful ran home, packed up both families, and headed to the place of plentiful burgers. Father Forgetful was in heaven.

After a fun-filled dinner in the park, Mother Forgetful realized that she had forgot to finish buying her clothes for the weekend. She and Mother Plentiful headed to the place of plentiful shopping and bought some super cute clothes and sandals. After returning home and discovering that all the kids were fine, Mother forgot that she needed a toothbrush and some deodorant. So they headed to the store to get some necessities. The next morning the forgetfuls and the plentifuls woke up, ate some bagels and headed to the place of plenty national parks. They met the trustfuls at a gas station. The trustfuls were also a large family: Father, Mother, Brother, Brother, Brother, and Brother.

When everyone got to the park, Mother forgot that the kids might be hungry, so she packed them some snacks in their backpacks, and they were off on an adventure.

During the hike, father forgot that the kids might get tired, but not to worry. Father Plentiful could see that Sister needed lots of encouragement and a big hug.

After a long morning of hiking in the hot sun, Father and Mother forgot that everyone might need a little rest, so they sat them down in the shade for a breather.

As they were hiking back to their cars, Mother forgot to charge her camera battery. So here is where the story ends. Let it be known that the Forgetfuls had a wonderful weekend full of laughs, cries (yes, Mother ripped off her thumbnail), and goodbyes. Stay tuned for more adventures starting the Family of Forgetfuls, Pentifuls, and Trustfuls.

The End