God’s Hand

I am writing this for my children. Although they are young and innocent now (and completely clueless), I know that they will grow up and endure hardships of their own. I want them to know that their mother has a testimony of the Savior and recognizes God’s Hand in her life.

Tuesday November 15 was a normal day, until I got a phone call from Matt at around 1 p.m. He was calling to tell me that he was laid off. Apparently, his company merged with another and they were ‘trimming the fat.’ My heart sunk into my stomach. In the grand scheme of things I know that losing a job isn’t that big of a deal. However, this was gut wrenching to me. It was right before the Holiday season. On top of that, Matt has been looking for a new job and interviewing for over a year. So I wasn’t very optimistic. Matt was on his way home, so I told Travis I needed the rest of the day off and I met him at home. As I was waiting for Matt, I was sitting in my front room thinking about everything that we needed to pay for. Our income had been cut by more than half. I thought of our mortgage, school lunches, city bills, car payments, and all the other things we had to take care of and I was sinking into a deep depression. It was awful.
Once Matt came home the first thing we did was head over to Mom and Dad’s so Dad could give Matt a blessing. I was still really having a hard time and the only thing that stuck out to me was when he said “You will face days of disappointment.” But Matt said it was very comforting. After, we headed home and Matt spent the afternoon applying for job after job and calling some of his professional contacts. I had to keep myself busy so I started to put the front room back together (we had painted it the night before). While I was putting up our family photos (Thanks again Lori) I got a call from Verena so I told her what happened. She immediately hung up the phone and called the temple to put our names on the prayer roll (don’t I just have the bestest friends ever?).
I also sent Holly a text as well. She called and said if things got bad she could get Matt a job at Discover card. We joked that Matt could live up in SLC with her during the week and come home on the weekends. Goodbye Lowell, Hello Pookie! That night we had to meet with the Bishop to go over details for the Ward Christmas Party (we were in charge of it this year). So we walk into his office and Mace (Verena’s hubby) was in there with him. So the Bishop knew what was going on and I just started to cry. The Bishop assured us that the ward would take care of us and he gave a sweet prayer that offered some comfort. That night Verena and Tess stopped by with some ice cream. It was around 8 that night. As we were talking Matt got a phone call from a job that he had a phone interview with the day before. He wanted to set-up a face-to-face interview for the next day!! My heart leapt. I was sitting there, crying to Verena, feeling miserable and at that moment, Matt gets a phone call for a job interview. I knew that Heavenly Father was very much aware of me and even though we were going through this, he comforted me and gave me hope. He got an interview for the next day. That night I prayed and prayed that Matt would get this job and that this wouldn’t set us back too much.
Matt said that the interview went really well. We were to hear back on Monday (it was Wednesday). So we waited. We went to the temple. And we prayed like CRAZY! I kept asking Heavenly Father for Matt to get this job, but I just wasn’t comforted. I would pray and feel comfort in the moment, but it was pretty fleeting. Friends would call and get updates and ask if there was anything they could do for us, but still I felt all alone. At work I would go down to the basement and offer up my desires to the Lord. Monday came and went with no news. Matt sent a text to the interviewer, and he responded that it would be next Monday. So we went through Thanksgiving waiting and hoping.
Throughout the waiting period Matt got tons of emails from people he worked with giving him job leads and letters of recommendations. On Friday, we got a call from a co-worker asking if Pinnacle could sponsor us for Sub-for-Santa. It was very touching to see that even though they let Matt go, they were still wanting him to succeed and help give his family a wonderful Christmas.
The following Monday came and went with no news. Tuesday passed without any news. All the while I could not comfort myself. Wednesday night (still no news) I went down into the basement and I changed my prayers. Before, I was praying for Matt to get a job right away. Me being the basket-case that everyone knows and loves was making myself crazy and slowing sinking into a depression. So that night I changed my prayers from asking for a job to asking for a peace that would stay with me through this trial. Immediately my soul was calm and peaceful. Something it hadn’t been in 2 weeks. I was happy and calm. It is amazing how, once I changed my perspective, Heavenly Father gave me the peace that I needed. It just so happened that while I was downstairs praying, Matt was getting a text from Dewey saying they decided to hire the CEO’s buddy. I came upstairs and Matt told me the news. I was a little shocked, but the peace that Heavenly Father gave me let me know that everything was going to be alright. That night as we were getting ready for bed, Matt was talking to me about that job. He was so sure that he was going to get it, he just couldn’t figure out why it happened the way it did. We decided Matt needed to say a prayer. When he came back he told me that he felt peace and that he felt like he needed to call one of his old associates – Hans.
The next morning he got up and called the number he had for Hans in his phone, but it was a wrong number so he sent him and email. A few hours later he got an email with a number and he gave him a call. Come to find out that, in their meeting that very morning, they were talking about creating another accounting position at the company. So they posted the job on Monday and Matt was called in for an interview Wednesday. Matt worked with Hans at Neways so they knew each other pretty well. This past Monday, Hans called Matt in for a second interview to meet the Controller and some other employees. It was a short meeting and Hans had told Matt that he was going out of town for a few days and he would get back to him next week.
The next day I was sitting at work, the internet had gone down so I was doing a few things to keep busy when I got a phone call from Matt. Hans had called and offered him the job!!! He was to start the following Monday, December 19th. My heart lept and I immediately went to my knees to thank my Heavenly Father for blessing my family. Although this little trial only lasted a month, I have learned MANY lessons.
1. Stay close to family and good friends. My family and friends were so great. I even had some of my old young women come up to me and tell me that they were thinking about our family and praying and fasting for us. I am so very grateful to be surrounded by people who love me and care about me.
2. Be a good friend. Don’t get so wrapped up with what is going on in your life that you forget about serving and helping others.
3. Ask for the right thing. I had tortured myself for two weeks because the only thing I was asking Heavenly Father for was for Matt to get a job. When I realized that I needed to put it in the Lords hands my prayers changed from what I wanted to what I needed and I was immediately granted what I needed – peace! Don’t think that Heavenly Father isn’t listening or aware of you just because He isn’t giving you what you want. He will ALWAYS give you what you NEED.
4. Don’t give in to disappointment and discouragement. Always turn to the Lord. Don’t let doubt and disappointment stop you from getting down on your knees and turning to the Lord. He see the entire picture, He knows what is best for you, and He knows how to get you to that point. Rely on the Lord – ALWAYS!
There are so many more lessons that I have learned, but are very personal to me, just know that Heavenly Father knows you, He loves you, and He knows how to comfort you personally. I love you and I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that it is true and that it will bless your life.